Castle on the Third Floor

I Can’t Hold Back / Survivor

I hate talking about the wedding and there is an actual reason why. Here is how the conversation usually goes.

Random Friend: Have you picked out your dress?/How is the wedding planning going?/Random wedding question?
Me: Yes.
Random Person Who Overheard: OMG When is your wedding?
Me: June
Random Person Who Overheard: OMG, I will so be there!
Me:… Um, I didn’t invite you.

The other day a person asked me if she was invited to the wedding.  What made this situation incredibly awkward is that she is the ex-girlfriend of a friend I can’t even invite to the wedding.  While I was trying to come up with a polite response she proceeded to tell me that she didn’t need to be invited to the wedding, just the “party” so she could drink and meet cute guys.  Um… what?!  I have actually had a girl I barely knew ask – in all seriousness – if she could be a bridesmaid, and when I politely turned her down, she asked if she could be the ceremony officiant. When I said no she quickly informed me that one can easily become an officiant online in case my hesitation was that she wasn’t legally able to perform ceremonies… I still said no. Um… seriously?  And could I say “um” a little more?  What is that about?

Having a Catholic Italian and Irish heritage I am related to a million people and then having two hippie uncles adds even more cousins into the mix – i’ll show you my family tree and you can try to figure it out.  My dad has 6 siblings and 6 cousins – don’t get me started on their  marriages!, I have 34 first cousins and 9 first cousins once removed.  I have second cousins that I see on a regular basis that I can’t invite to my wedding – actual people related to me that I had to create a cut-off for so that I could invite some of the people that I see on a daily basis.  And there are about 20 friends that I WISH I could invite to my wedding because I would love to have them. I can’t invite everyone I want to invite. It is impossible and I really really hate it, but that is the way it works and i’m pretty sure that life will go on.

But what makes this process so much more difficult are the people who think that they are entitled to an invite because they have met me/talked to me/heard about me/ breathed on me once. They ask, just like that, without any embarrassment or hesitation if they can come to the wedding as if it is some type of carnival.  when it comes down to it, it is a ridiculously expensive dinner and i have the unfortunate task of creating a balance between the people i want there and the people who “have” to be there.

Why are people so damn rude? If I want you to be a bridesmaid, I’ll ask. If I want you to be the officiant at my wedding, I’ll ask. If I want you to be at my wedding, you will get an invite… and unfortunately, if I want you to be at my wedding you might not get an invitation. Please don’t make it harder on me by making me explain why you aren’t invited or expecting an invitation to my “party” for you and all of your friends.

I mean, am I the only one who doesn’t ask for an invite to someone’s wedding?