There are a million reasons to love/watch/stalk GLEE!…  But Sue is undoubtedly my favorite reason.

this past weekend I went to see the new Twilight Movie.  Which is what all of my adult friends call it: the New Twilight Movie.  People, I understand that you work full time and have a life but it is called “New Moon” just like the second book in the series.  Not hard… unlike Taylor Lautner’s body.  ahem.

i walked away from the last movie not entirely impressed and so i was hoping that the infusion of funds into the project would assist in making me feel what the book made me feel.  i have yet to see a movie where the book wasn’t better.  there is something about reading and the fact that nothing can reflect the imagination of a million different readers.  i have come to grips with that.  and i can separate the two as different mediums of entertainment and recognize them as such.  see how cool i just made myself sound to cover the fact that i’m watching a movie that most 15 year-olds are too cool to attend?

so i sat quietly and tried VERY HARD not to roll my eyes when people starting screaming and clapping when the movie started.  i dutifully rolled my eyes when some random teenagers stood up and screamed “Team Jacob” and asked Alice if it was possible they had actually read the book.  and then… well, ok it isn’t like anyone who doesn’t live under a rock knows that the actor who plays Jacob gained 23 lbs in muscle to keep his role.  i just had no idea that… i just can’t… i don’t have the mental capacity… there are NO WORDS.

ok, so i know that he is 17.  i know that.  but that would not stop me from finding out where he lives and rubbing oil all over his chest.  and then maybe trying to find someone in congress to put through a bill that would make it illegal for him to wear shirts.  and then i would pay him to hang out at my house all day.

and i cannot be objective about whether or not this movie followed the book closely, or if the characters acted better than last time, and i cannot honestly remember anything else about the book or the movie that bothered me.  i mean i was barely able to walk to the car properly.  the whole movie i kept hoping that jacob would be in the scene and when he was in the scene i kept hoping that he would take off his shirt.  and the scene where he had his shirt off and was getting rained on?  i seriously considered running up to the movie screen and trying to lick the water off of his biceps.

so… i’m officially a pedophile.  and i’m ok with that.  aiden gets mistaken for a 10 year-old everytime he shaves, so i now understand the attraction i feel towards him.  now if i could just convince him to gain about 5 more lbs of muscle we would be in business and i could probably stay out of jail.

Rachel Maddow: Obama Derangement Syndrome

this is like… the best grouping of teasers… EVER.  Extended New Moon Trailer AND The first five minutes of Grey’s.

you are welcome.

jillian michaels is out to get me.  i’m serious.  last night i had vivid nightmares dreams about her kicking my ass into shape.  she kept repeating over and over that if i wanted a 20 minute workout i was going to GET a 20 minute workout.  and mixed into that was joey potter talking out the side of her mouth and mocking me with her perfect hair.

i REALLY need to stop watching Dawson’s Creek while cooling down from 30 Day Shred.  And I should also cut down the amount of red wine i drink before bed.

I was watching The OC today and seriously?  I forgot how awesome this show is.  Two great lines in just one episode:

Anna: You dressed up as Wonder Woman.  Wonder woman has an invisible airplane, not an invisible boyfriend.

Julie: I am a parent and you are a student at this school.  We can’t do this.
Luke: So this is over?
Julie: No, I’ll see you tonight.

natalie and i love to gossip about the twilight movies.  it probably has to do with the fact that we were once able to speculate what would happen in the fourth book and now there is no more speculation for the fourth book to be had… or the fact that celebrity gossip completes us – but whatever.  all life and conversation must halt for new twilight movie gossip.

the other night natalie was watching a movie with her boyfriend, neal, when i had just finished reading about K Stewart and her love triangle with Cedward and Michael Anaramadingdong and needed to fill her in.  so i just walked into the living room and started yammering on about how i think that Michael is cuter and that K Stewart shouldn’t even think about leaving him for someone who has millions of dollars and can’t even get a decent hair cut.

Neal finally interjected and wanted to know who we were talking about.  When Natalie explained that it was the actors from the Twilight Series it suddenly hit me that I might not be exhibiting normal human behavior.  Who spends fifteen minutes discussing the love lives of people they don’t even know based on media gossip?

Me.  The loser without a life here.  And that is why hollywood gossip makes so much money.  i am so in the wrong career path.

Susan Boyle

This just blew me away.  I love when I’m having a shit day and my sister sends me a youtube link that has me smiling the rest of the day.  Dream a dream indeed.

ohmygodihatespeidi.  i would rather DIE than watch heidi take more of his shit.  second only to watching the over-made-up completely overdone plastic surgeried heidi make dead eyes at that pale fuzzed lazy assed loser.  

my only real hope that they will ever go away is if he could give her chlamydia, then at least they couldn’t reproduce.  and MAYBE heidi would get mad at spencer long enough for an actual commercial break.

ever since i moved out of the apartment i haven’t had any form of cable television.  just plain old free tv.  and i’ve taken to watching a lot of pbs.  because on saturday morning they have the calm voiced dad figure on the New Yankee Workshop making furniture.  i’m pretty sure he is related to the paint guy.

and then all day saturday you had America’s Test Kitchen, where I learn how to make the best anything with little tidbits of information inbetween like things about cheese and wine.  and then on Sunday there is this all day long thing that somehow has something to do with Martha Stuart but she never actually is on the show, just introduces.  last sunday i learned how to make breakfast biscuits from scratch.

the other day aiden told me that i should get “real tv” so that “we” can watch sports when he is here.  i thought that it is probably time that i start pricing out some cable or directv or something but then i panicked.  what would happen to my PBS if i didn’t watch anymore?  i guess i could go back to watching What Not To Wear and Flip That House.  and eventually forget all about my PBS all over again!

where would I get my calming Saturday morning talk through on how to make a kitchen office desk?  Where would I learn how to make blueberry crumble?  The cable channel cook shows always make things that no one actually eats at home!  maybe i’ll hold off on real tv for awhile longer.  

oooh, they are making apple tarts today!  gotta go.